Just Walk Away
by animeninjaNIPPON
Summary: Kenny returns to South Park two years after he left, for what may be his last chance at finding happiness in that town. However, when Cartman decides to play matchmaker, a bizarre love triangle ensues...[slash alert][Kenny's POV]
1. Return

By animeninjaNIPPON

OK, this story was inspired by an odd series of events: as I entered a relationship triangle much like the one that is to come, I realized how much my little town and friends are like South Park in almost every way, shape, and form...(guess who ends up as Kenny?) And when I had a dream about how the details of this fic should be played out, I just knew what I had to do, despite my other six or so fanfics that still need updating (and I will update and finish, I promise!). The title of this story was taken from the song "Walk Away, Renée," which has more to do with my own life but still relates to this story.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own South Park or any of its characters. If this story is a little OOC or clichéd-to-Hell, then that's because I'm neither Matt Stone nor Trey Parker and therefore cannot write a perfect South Park story. But enjoy this anyway.

* * *

As soon as I got of the bus, I immediately felt a chill run down my spine - like I'd just been cursed.

I don't know why I came back to this shitty little town, really. I mean, of course I _know_ - but what the Hell was I thinking? Once I turned sixteen, I walked out the door of my little crap-shack and left South Park for good - until now.

I got off the bus bearing only a thrift-store duffel bag full of belongings, which sure as Hell was more than I departed with when I fled South Park. Now, two years later, I was no better off than I was back then - I was still poor as shit, feeling sick from something or other all the time, and alone. But that last one was about to change...or so I hoped. And that was the ONLY reason I came back to South Park.

"Fuckin' stupid HIPPIE!" I heard a familiar voice screech. I looked to my left in time to see Eric Cartman giving the finger to some passer-by who'd apparently bumped into him.

"Eric?" I wasn't expecting him to be at the bus stop, but then I figured it made sense, since I didn't know where he lived anymore.

So, what was I smoking when I made this arrangement?

It started last Monday. I'd just got off work from my most recent dead-end job, and I had a few quarters in my pocket. When I passed by a beat-up old payphone, something possessed me to make a call...

"Hello," replied a sweetly effeminate voice after I dialed the number of the only person I was interested in talking to.

"Yeah," I answered back, "Is Eric Cartman there?"

"Just a minute." I heard her call for him, and in a few minutes he growled into the receiver. "What?"

"I-It's me," I responded nervously. "Kenny."

"Kenny?" he repeated, bewildered.

"Yeah...Kenny McKormick."

"Where the Hell are you?"

"At a payphone."

"I know that, dumbass - I mean, where do you live?"

I filled him in on where I was and the vague details of what I'd been doing, and he told me a few of the things that had happened back in South Park - aliens had abducted Butters, the high school's North Park rivals had torched the gym, and Kyle was going out with Bebe.

"Bebe..." I tried to bring her back to memory. "Oh yeah - she had nice tits..." I gave a laugh in mock humor. "You with anyone?"

"I don't need a girlfriend," he snapped. "I got better shit to do."

"Boyfriend?" I asked in a smart-ass tone. He responded by telling me to go fuck myself and calling me a fag.

"Only by half," I retorted. Eric knew that I swung both ways, he just didn't care as long as I didn't bring it up. But what he did next is what really shocked me.

"Everybody around here is bi these days - Stan, you, that fat bitch who teaches art - "

"Did you say Stan?"

"Yeah, or so those goths say. Wouldn't surprise me if that Jew was, too..." He was clearly referring to Kyle, but I was thinking about Stan. Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind and a smile crossed my lips.

"He single?"

"Wha? Are you fucking SERIOUS?" I was about to say "no," but then Eric continued, "'Cuz I can hook you guys up."

I almost choked on my own spit. That didn't sound like something Eric Cartman would say, unless he had some ulterior motive. But I wasn't really thinking about it at the time, so I just said, "Sure, OK" into the receiver like it was no big deal.

"Uh, yeah..." There was a pause. "So...when?"

"I dunno..." I kicked at some glass shards on the ground as I pondered a date. "Friday?"

"This Friday?"

"Yeah."

"OK then."

"Thanks." That was the first time I remember being genuinely grateful for something.

"Uh-huh."

After that conversation ended, the week went by rather quickly, and then the next thing I knew, I was back in South Park. And from the looks of it, not much had changed - the buildings were still the same, the streets were still dirty, the -

"...Kenny!"

As soon as I realized that my name had been called, I saw headlights coming my way. I froze in terror and jumped too late. The speeding automobile slammed into my ribcage and shook my whole body. I felt and heard everything snap painfully. _Yes, I'm back in South Park,_ I thought, staring at the rivulets of red on the asphalt before everything faded to black.

_End of part one

* * *

_

Updates on this will probably be sporatic, since I've got a lot on my plate, and also because I'm kinda writing this as I experience it. But I pretty much know where this is going, with or without life's little helper...


	2. Rendezvous

By animeninjaNIPPON

Well, the real-life love triangle of mine is getting more and more complex and heart-wrenching...which means this fanfiction is going to get more and more exciting! OK, that's just a bit of an apology for the prolonged update...

* * *

When I came back into consciousness (or more specifically, existence), I found myself on Eric's couch. That was weird - I hadn't died since I left South Park, unless I was somehow dying in my sleep and didn't know it. I just shrugged it off and started watching TV.

He was sitting on the couch next to me, eating a bag of Cheesy Poofs. All of a sudden, I felt pangs of hunger hit my abdomen and work their way up. I reached for the bag, and he responded by snatching it out of my reach and grumbling, "Get your own Cheesy Poofs!" I narrowed my eyes but retreated, my wandering mind shifting onto another thought: just why was I here, anyway?

That was yet another question I already knew the answer to.

Stan Marsh - we'd been friends for years, more or less, but at the same time, we were disconnected. Maybe it was because I was dead half the time or because I was often stuck trying to deal with and make the most of my fucked up family, but somehow I felt really distant from Stan growing up...and it didn't help that our group sort of split up back in middle school. Though definitely not popular, Stan was certainly well-known throughout the school district, since his name came up a lot in casual conversation:

_"Stan Marsh? Yeah, I went out with him..."_

_"...And then when we went to Stark's Pond, Stan's shoe fell off into the water and we had to chase it..."_

_"...so I saw Stan the other day..."_

And other shit like that. It seemed like everyone had some kind of elite connection to him, or some weird-ass thing. And now it was my turn to get connected.

The doorbell rang. "MOOOOM!" Eric yelled. "Get the door!" I shifted in my seat and he continued digging into his bag of Cheesy Poofs. When nobody responded to the doorbell, the door opened on its own five minutes later.

"Hey, Cartman."

I turned my head, and I no longer felt hungry. Fuck, if anything, I was ready to throw up - that is, if I didn't pass out first. It was like some new kind of death.

So, there he was - Stanley Marsh. That potential quasi-boyfriend I was going to be seeing. For the first time for as long as I can remember, he wasn't wearing that hat of his - and I guess his hair had gotten wind-tousled as a result. Heh...I liked that. He was definitely taller, too...and I'd say he was cute. But there was something else that drew him to me...what, I don't know. It was sort of ethereal.

Stan noticed me, in my dirty parka, glancing around nervously. He addressed Eric while pointing to me. "Is that Kenny?"

"Yeah, it's me," I squeaked. I didn't really blame him for asking about me indirectly - given the reason we were here, things did seem pretty awkward. "Hi."

"Hi..." He smiled somewhat hesitantly, then we both glanced over at Eric.

"Whaddaya looking at me for?" he demanded.

Stan's eyes narrowed. "This was your idea!"

"Yeah, I know..." Suddenly, his face brightened with realization of authority, like he understood he was in control of the situation and it could make or break his "career." He got up off the couch. "You two - sit," he ordered, pointing at me and Stan.

I was already sitting down, and Stan made himself comfortable in the spot Eric had previously occupied. Before anything else could progress, Eric's mom popped into the room.

"Eric, sweetie," she cooed, " can I get you and your little friends anything?"

"Not now, Mom!" he yelled, and I shifted uncomfortably. Due to the way things were in my house while growing up, I couldn't stand it when people raised their voices.

"OK, honey." She left us three in silence.

Eric rubbed his hands together as he prepared for the next step in getting me next to Stan. "OK Kenny - tell Stan about yourself."

Where the fuck was he going with this? "Uh, I dunno..." I glanced nervously over at Stan for a brief moment, then back over to Eric.

Eric rolled his eyes. "Don't you know anything about matchmaking? You're supposed to talk to each other about your interests first. Then you go out on a date." He paused, and at that inconvenient moment his mom came back into the room.

"Oh Stanley, I just heard that you're engaged. Congratulations."

The three of us guys stared blankly at each other, blinking occasionally, in dead silence for a long time. All the while I felt this overwhelming crushing feeling in my chest, like I was about to implode (wouldn't be the first time). I could feel my face getting hot, and I knew I was turning red. Thank God my hood was hiding most of my face.

"Well..." Eric coughed. "That was unexpected..."

_End of part two_


End file.
